Adventures of a Bus Rider

A couple years ago Bubba's car got impounded (it's a long story) and because he works much further away than I do he needed to use my car. I had no choice but to figure out how to use the bus. It wasn't that bad really. The only pain in the butt is the transferring and waiting.

This time I'm taking the bus because the cost of gas is KILLING me. I figured that spending $15-20 a week on bus fare and sacrificing a little more time commuting is better than $50-60 on a fill up every 4 days. I've been taking the bus since last Friday. Waking up at 5:30am sucks but saving money is my motivation to get my ass out of bed. So far it hasn't been that bad but I can't do it everyday.

Since taking the bus I've chit chatted with a few interesting people but one guy I met takes the cake. One morning at my transfer stop there was a man sitting in the middle of the bench. I sat down at the end of the bench and he says, "It's going to be a warm day today." I said, "Yup, sure is." Then some crazy shit started flying out of his mouth. He tells me his doctor is going to "break" his face so he can look like a girl. Then his balls and penis are getting chopped off and replaced with a uterus so he can have a period. He wants to be a bloody girl so he could go through what women go through every month. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? Who tells a complete stranger this? He obviously wasn't in his right mind. Some mental issues, ya think? I was immediately in defense mode when he said the "bloody girl" part. It made my stomach turn. Ew! He went on to say his female friends are supportive, male friends think he's insane, and his parents are disowning him. He said some other things but those are the main things he kept repeating to me for 10 minutes. Between repeats he would compliment my hair and nails. So I wouldn't get killed, I went with it and said THANK YOU the way Natalie Portman's character did in CLOSER with Clive Owen in the private room at the strip bar. I kept my replies brief. I wasn't scared, I just wanted him to shut up.

When the next bus came it distracted him and this was my chance to get away and fake a phone call. I called Bubba first and I started laughing so hard he thought I was crying. I assured him there was nothing to worry about, but I wanted to let him know what was going on. When he hung up I continued to look like I was talking on the phone and kept my cell to my ear. It worked. He left me alone. When I boarded my bus he tells me he'll keep me updated on his surgeries next time he sees me. I told the bus driver that I've never been so happy he finally arrived. Since that day I don't go to that transfer stop anymore. I don't want to be updated.

Tomorrow I'm driving to work and I can't believe I'm actually excited about it.